Is the idea that a mother has to sacrifice herself for the sake of her family actually the definition of what really being a mother is all about? Or is it a remnant of parental peer group pressure from yesteryear that has no place in today’s world…
Why is it that most mothers only give themselves permission to relax on Mother’s day? They appear happier and less stressed on this day and have a lot more energy.Does it really take breakfast in bed, some flowers and some arts and crafts made by the kids to make mothers happy and relaxed? (I can hear many mothers crying out, “That would make a great start!”) Children and partners around the world would love to have a more energetic and relaxed mother in the house. Over the years I have counselled many a burnt out and exhausted mother. They may be a working Mum or a stay at home Mum.
One mum that springs to mind is Carmel who raised three children and helped out in the family business. Although in her early forties, Carmel looked 10 -15 years older. Every time Carmel came to my practice her body was aching everywhere and she was just plain exhausted.
“Carmel, all these injuries will heal if you give your body the opportunity to rest. You need to stop putting your family and your job first and start putting yourself first, “I pleaded.
“If I don’t look after my kids, who is going to look after them. It’s easy for you to say ‘put yourself first’. You don’t know what it feels like to when your child cries out for you whenever you try to leave them with someone else.”
Look I have three young children and like most parents I would gladly give up my life to save my family from life threatening danger. What I am saying is that mothers don’t have to give up their life to raise their family. And my observation is that many mothers are unnecessarily putting their health in grave danger by ignoring their own needs and wants for the sake of the family.
Are you that kind of “Martyr Mother”?
Do you devote all your time and energy to your work and family and only do something for yourself if there is any time or energy left over? And do you ever have any time or energy left over at the end of the day? Do you continually feel stressed and run down?
I urge you mothers not to put your family first. I urge you Mums to put yourself first….
One way you can do this is to spend the first 30 minutes of every day doing something to re-charge your own batteries. Go for a walk, go for a run, do some form of exercise or relaxation before doing anything for your work or for your family. Your first priority for every day should be to energize yourself first.
So by not putting your family first, you will end up having more to give to your work and family. Your work and family will receive the ultimate gift…an energetic, healthy and happy you.